Making Decisions – Feeling vs. Thinking!

When we think about making decisions, we tend to think in terms of the situation or problem we need to address, information we need to process the decisions and how we implement that decision. Very rarely do we consider the process we naturally utilize to make that decision – such as are we more inclined to be subjective or objective in our process, are we task or people focused and is our approach “tough minded” or “tender hearted”. According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) - one of the most widely used personality assessments in the world - there are two ways in which we make decisions – as a Thinker or a Feeler. When most of us hear Thinker or Feeler we might generally think of the common following definitions: Thinkers – think a lot, in our “head” Feelers – lots of feelings, proceed with a “heart” approach According to the MBTI, when it comes to our personality we have a slightly different definition of Thinkers and Feelers. Individuals who make decisions looking at the logical consequences of a choice or action and objectively examine the pros and cons of a situation are likely to be Thinkers. Feelers, on the other hand, are defined by considering what is important to them and others involved and mentally place themselves in the situations and make decisions based on their values and honoring others. Thinkers and Feelers both want the same general outcome – the difference is what they focus on as they make their decision. For Thinkers, key words are logic, objectivity and fairness. When working to solve a problem...

Effective Communication

Are you a judger or a perceiver? These are two personality types that communicate differently. Coach Trigena Halley joined Fresh Living to explain how these different personality types can affect how we communicate with others. When most of us think about working together effectively we think about how we communicate, how we show empathy, how we collaborate and how we handle conflict. Very rarely do we consider the impact that “structure” has on our relationships and our ability to work together effectively. According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) - one of the most widely used personality assessments in the world - there are two ways in which we structure our world - as a Judger or a Perceiver. When most of us hear Judger and Perceiver we generally think of the common following definitions: Judger - judgmental of others Perceiver - how we perceive the world around us According to the MBTI, when it comes to our personality we have different definitions of Judger and Perceiver. Individuals who structure their world in an orderly fashion, make a plan and work the plan, like to make decisions, come to closure, and move on are likely to be Judgers. Perceiver’s, on the other hand, are defined by their ability to adapt quickly, turn on a dime, leave their options open and seek out more data in situations. Judgers and Perceivers both have of structure - the difference is how they operationalize that structure. For Perceivers, the key word is flexibility - an 8:00am appointment means showing up between 8:00-8:15am - time is flexible and more information and data is always...

Learn Three Steps to Leading Change Successfully

As I sit on my porch I marvel at the Wasatch Mountains, they are beautiful in all seasons here in Utah, but they are exquisite in the Fall when the colors begin to emerge and the mountainside is on “fire” with gold and yellow color! One of the great things about Utah is the four seasons; my favorite is Fall because it is the season that signals the most change….change in schedule (for me, kids are back in school), temperature, color, etc. As I enjoy the scenery it drew my thoughts to how we think about, approach and go forward when change occurs in our lives. Much like life, nature doesn’t give us a choice in change, it happens whether we are ready or not! Watching the mountains change with the seasons made me think how the mountains don’t necessarily change but the seasons themselves change the look of mountains. Much like us, who we are generally stays the same, how we approach the “seasons of life” are what changes and grows. William Bridges, author and expert on change leadership makes a distinction between change and transition. According to Bridges, “change is external and tied to a certain situation, transition is the internal, emotional process of how you respond and come to terms with that change.” The understanding between change and transition is key to living and leading change. Similar to Bridges I see change from the following perspective: · Change · Evaluation · New Normal Whether good, bad or indifferent, driven by us or happened upon us, change requires a new pattern of doing, thinking and behaving. Change...

Introverts and Extroverts – What You Need to Know

Salt Lake City — (KUTV) Life Coach Trigena Halley visited Fresh Living to talk about Introverts and Extroverts and what you need to know in order to make the most of your communication. Introverts and Extroverts - What You Need to Know When most of us think about communicating effectively we think about how we show up with others, not necessarily about what energizes others and us in terms of communication. According to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator - one of the most widely used personality assessments in the world - there are two ways in which we are “energized”. This energy focus has a large impact on how we communicate, like to be communicated with, and, importantly, how we are energized. When most of us hear introvert and extrovert we generally think of the common following definitions: Extroverts - loud, gregarious, talks more than listens Introverts - quiet, shy, listens more than speaks While some of those traits might be accurate, when we think of personality and what energizes someone they are not completely accurate. Individuals who are energized by people and external events are likely to be an extrovert while an introvert is energized by their internal world of ideas and thoughts. When we talk in terms of energy, it has to do with how drained or invigorated we are in regards to our interactions. Extroverts and introverts can both speak in front of groups or spend time working alone on a project and do it equally well - the difference is in their energy levels during and after the engagement. For introverts, a speaking engagement, volunteer group...
The Optimistic Opportunity: How Our Thoughts Shape Our Behavior

The Optimistic Opportunity: How Our Thoughts Shape Our Behavior

Salt Lake City — (KUTV) Life Coach Trigena Halley visited Fresh Living to discuss The Optimistic Opportunity: How Our Thoughts Shape Our Behavior. I love Henry Ford’s quote “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t either way, you are right”, it sums up so well the power our thinking has to our well-being. How we think has powerful ramifications to how we show up in relationships, as parents, as spouses and as leaders, and, how healthy we are physically and emotionally. At a more micro level it has to do with our perspective on Optimism. What is Optimism and Why is it Important? According to the Multi-Health Systems (MHS) Emotional Intelligence model Optimism is an emotional intelligence skill. We don’t usually think of optimism as a skill much less a survival skill. Consider individuals who are survivors - cancer, war, wilderness, etc. - and you will find a common thread of optimism. Think about every day decisions, goals and events in your life, you generally have two ways to respond, you can: Resist the situation     Support the situation The first option is pessimism, where you see the situation as incompatible. The fear is usually if the situation changes, the effect will be unpredictable and most likely “bad”. The second option is optimism; you see the situation as an opportunity that will have a positive effect on your situation. With optimism you are willing to explore the situation, even if you don’t understand it. According to the article Why Optimism is the Ultimate Survival Skill there is a scale of beliefs as it relates to optimism....

Contribute to Others Through Motivational and Developmental Feedback

Giving feedback is one of the most common things we do as parents, spouses and co-workers. When feedback is done well it leads to increased satisfaction, performance and motivation, when not done well it can cause conflict, stress and confusion. As parents one of the best things we can do for our children is to provide both motivational and developmental feedback that contributes to their success. There are typically two forms of feedback - motivational and developmental. Motivational feedback identifies what was done well and why it was important - the individual receiving the feedback understands the positive impact and how to replicate the behavior or action in the future. Developmental feedback identifies what needs to be improved or changed and why that change is necessary. Giving feedback can either be a distributing or contributing process. Distributing feedback is a one-way communication process whereby on person provides their viewpoint while contributing feedback is where a discussion occurs and both parties provide input. Two questions to consider as we give feedback: Am I doing it effectively so behavior can be replicated or changed? Is my feedback distributing (telling) or contributing (designed to impact behavior)? A good feedback model is the STAR approach: S/T (Situation or Task) - Situation or Task - the behavior, action or task. A (Action) - the action taken or not taken R (Result) - the result of the action taken or not taken Emotional vocabulary also gets us in trouble when we give feedback - these are words such as always, never, everybody and nobody. These allness words tend to over exaggerate and cause the other...